mindlessly insane.

Things I Love:

1. Cats.
2. Chai Tea.
3. Green Tea.
4. Texting.
5. Movies.
6. Music.
7. Rockband.
8. TV or DVD.
9. No School.
10. Recycling.
11. Snow. 
12. Reading.
13. Writing.
14. Poetry.
15. Novels.
16. Singing in the car.
17. Sun Chips. 
18. Hiking.
19. Biking.
20. Water.
21. iPod.
22. Surveys.
23. Facebook.
24. Friends.
25. Family.

Things I Hate:

1. Spiders.
2. Jerks.
3. Conceited People.
4. People in general.
5. Not being listened to.
6. People who Abuse Animals.
7. Cleaning.
8. Waking Up.
9. Drugs.
10. Smoking.
11. Cancer.
12. Hot weather. 
13. My dad.
14. Worrying too much.
15. Anxiety.
16. Awful Teachers/Professors.
17. School.
18. Maths.
19. Heels.
20. Glee.
21. Lady Gaga.
22. Feet.
23. Runny noses.
24. Being sick.

Movies I Love:

1. V For Vendetta.
2. Star Trek.
3. Lord of the Rings.
4. Harry Potter. 
5. sleeping Beauty.
6. Boondock Saints.
7. New Moon.
8. Alice in Wonderland.
9. The Dark Knight.
10. Juno.
11. Sweeney Todd.
12. Walk The Line.
13. Across the Universe.
14. Four Brothers.
15. Eternal Sunshine.
16. Dead Poets Society.
17. Transformers.
18. The Goonies.
19. Moulin Rouge!
20. Back To The Future.
21. Aladdin.
22. Saving Private Ryan.
23. Edward Scissorhands.
24. Mary Poppins.
25. Queen of the Damned.

Good Looking Famous Males:

1. Johnny Depp.
2. Robert Pattinson
3. Taylor Lautner.
4. Ryan Reynolds.
5. Jared Leto.
6. Alexander Skarsgard.
7. Josh Holloway.
8. Hugh Jackman.
9. Ed Westwick.
10. Chace Crawford.
11. Chris Pine.
12. Jim Sturgess.
13. Zachary Quinto.
14. Ewan McGregor.
15. Patrick Dempsey.
16. Brandon Flowers.
17. David Cook.
18. Chris Daughtry.
19. Andy Samberg.
20. John Krasinski.
21. Christian Bale.
22. Edward Norton.
23. Justin Timberlake. 
24. Ryan Gosling.
25. Ben Barnes.
26. Joe Jonas.
27. Kevin Jonas.
28. Nick Jonas.
29. Danny Jones.
30. Dougie poynter.
31. Tom Fletcher.
32. Harry Judd.
33. Logan Lerman. 
34. Alex Pettyfer.
35. Aaron Johnson.
36. Nick Hoult.
37. Luke Pasqualino.

25 Bands/Singers I LIKE:

1. The Beatles.
2. Muse.
3. The Killers.
4. The Fray.
5. Taylor Swift.
6. Katy Perry.
7. Eyes Set To Kill.
8. Adam Lambert.
9. Demi Lovato.
10. Colbie Caillat.
11. Paramore.
12. Ingrid Michaelson.
13. Taking Back Sunday.
14. 30 Seconds To Mars.
15. Leona Lewis.
16. The Hives.
17. John Lennon.
18. Carrie Underwood.
19. Miley Cyrus.
20. Mute Math.
21. Alesana.
22. Blessthefall.
23. Pete Yorn.
24. Cobra Starship
25. Modest Mouse
26. Jonas Brothers
27. Mcfly
28. Selena Gomez

STAR testing: science - check! all of the STAR tests for the year are done!! and since the sophomores still have one more to go, the rest of the grades get to come at 10:15 tomorrow. YAY! the teacher who supervised us gave us little yellow post-its  to put on the last page of the first part so we would actually notice we had to stop there. after we finished both parts, i would take the post-it and write the lyrics to an entire song on it (front and back, really tiny handwriting). today’s song was “I Remember” from Disney’s The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning. i walked outside with daniel and he noticed it in my hand. “What’s that?” he asked. i was explaining when it flew out of my hand. it landed on the ground and i was about to pick it up when a guy stepped on it (did i mention it fell on the ground with the sticky side face-up?). he walked away and i didn’t even try to follow. which was fine. it was just a song. if i wanted to write down the lyrics again, i could. here’s the thing: the guy, whomever he was, came back and gave it to me. i’ll never know how he knew it was mine or why he decided it was important enough to give it back, but he did. then i went to the library to return a book and just as i left, he came in, so i said thank you and he said it was no problem. there’s no doubt i’ll see this boy around school, but i’ll never recognize him. and i’ll never know his name.

i hung out with daniel at lunch. caalvin, Hiro and a few others joined us. as i mentioned before, i don’t have first period (i know that first period AFTER lunch is weird, but it’s just the testing schedule). so i was just planning to stay where we were for lunch and read the new book i checked out. dale and all the people who were in marching band first semester had PE first, and dale was about to go when he looked down at me sitting on the ground. he held out his hand and said, sweet as can be, “want me to help you up?” know what my answer was?: “i can get up by myself, daniel. i’m not a baby.” i said as meanly as i possibly could. his face … was something i’d never seen on him before. could it have been … hurt? i wasn’t trying to be mean to him, necessarily. i’m just sick and tired of people treating me like i’m a little kid who doesn’t know how to do anything by theirself. and that’s exactly what i said to him when i apologized to him later, after biology. he said it was okay and then i asked,” i know you don’t like it, but could you give me a hug to make me feel better?” and he did, gladly it seemed. this entire day could have been taken right out of a movie.

we had our first STAR test yesterday. English - check! i don’t have a first period so yesterday i was sitting in the usual brunch spot with kelly, Hiro, and derek . i was helping kelly with his biology homework when wyatt came and started talking to derek. wyatt is freshman like the rest of us, but is so tall i would totally mistake him for a junior. he’s got curly blond hair with a tiny bit of brown, wears shoes where one shoe has purple laces and the other neon yellow, and has green eyes that i could drown in. because i’m so short (4”10) i tend to ask people how tall they are. his answer: taller than you. you’d think i get this answer all the time, but usually people just tell me their height or say “i don’t know”. he asked if anyone wanted to go to subway with him and as soon as kelly finished his homework (with much pestering from wyatt to “finish already”) we all went.

we got there and all the boys bought food, but i wasn’t hungry so i didn’t (with breakfast and the snack they gave us between parts 1 and 2 of the testing, i was full. besides, the testing messed up the schedule so lunch was right after first period). when i told wyatt i wasn’t hungry he looked at me like i was crazy. to get him to stop pestering me i told him to just eat. then he said to hiro “how do you live with her? she sounds like my mom, telling me to eat. next she’s gonna tell me to clean my room”.  in truth i wouldn’t tell people to clean their rooms unless they were my own children (of which i have none). i’m just naturally a motherly person (which many people bother me about). anyway then he said something funny about me and i blushed. and when i blush my entire face goes red. and of course, he just has to point out “your face is like a tomato” which just makes it worse. and then he decides “aww, you’re blushing. you’re embarrassed just to talk to me.” and what’s next: i blush even harder.

later i went to tell inbar that i was annoyed at her for introducing me to the darkest powers series cuz i couldn’t find the most recent book anywhere and I REALLY WANNA READ IT!!!! wyatt is one of the few freshmen who hang out with amber’s group. he saw me and said “hey look, it’s that one chick”. he’d told me earlier that he wouldn’t remember my name. and although i offered that he could call me frootloops, like many of my friends do, he wouldn’t. so to him i will forever be That One Chick. in which case, obviously i have no chance with him. but today i saw him in the halls on the way to math. just a tiny flash of his hair and the same sweatshirt he wore yesterday and i was happier for just a second. and then i went back to my recently gloomy self. at least we finished the second STAR test today. geometry - check!

ever felt like you’re gonna be alone forever? well, i do. all the time. i feel like if i can just find one guy to like who’ll like me back, i’ll feel so much better about myself. problem is, it may be the personality that makes them stay, but in order for them to pay attention to you in the first place, you have to be worth looking at. if you aren’t … well - you’re screwed. and what if you’re pretty, but small (and i mean small enough so that people can step on you just cuz they’re looking straight ahead and they don’t even see things that only reach their stomachs) and so those people have never even seen you in the halls at school, in which case, they don’t even know you exist? sure, some people are lucky. they find that one person. but when you think about it, even more people don’t. and there’s a good chance you’re one of them. well, that’ll brighten your day (that was sarcastic, of course). have fun trying to find the glass-half-full side of life.